As much as I would like to say I knew He would…I was STRESSED, because I am human. In case you are just jumping into this story, (see First thought Not Again Part 1 & 2) here is a refresher. Resigned from my pastorate in Tennessee, moved to Atlanta to start a new church. No job, no anything, just a dream. Got a great job, lost that great job (on Thanksgiving) because of our down turning economy, and other factors. Living off of savings for months, running out of money, turning down jobs in other states that would have been awesome, applying to over 200 here in the city with no bites…and then…GOD COMES THROUGH HUGE!!!
I will forgo all of the details, but lets talk a little about providence. I met Scott Kaufman when he was recruiting me for North Point…it did not work out with NP for a few reasons that were non negotiable on both sides (mine and theirs), but for whatever reason Scott and I remained friends through the entire process.
Recently, through the course of conversation I told him I had not had a job in a while. I hadn’t told him prior to this because I didn’t want to ever have leveraged our friendship for the use of his skills as a recruiter. But, this time it was a natural part of our convo. so I told him, and he immediately jumped at the chance to help me find something I would LOVE to do.
The short version…he had an in road on a position with a non profit that works in child advocacy. Imagine that, a chance for me to work in child advocacy…surely God was no where in that scenario (sarcasm if you missed it). I have long had a heart for children, and one of the primary functions of Renovation Church had already been laid out to serve and facilitate opportunity and growth for the children of our community. Perfect fit…just maybe.
The point…1. Providence and Gods sovereignty is real…too many times He has come in at the 11th hour and done something that blew my mind. Don’t read into that me saying He always has come in and done exactly what I wanted or what I thought I needed. What I am saying is that through every tight spot He has been real and present, unfolding the story to His glory,and ultimately for my good. 2. It is ok to wrestle with doubt and panic, as long as you are real about it. God knows your heart and thoughts anyway. I was worried. I have a wife and daughter that depend on me to provide for them, and provision was fast running out. So when I went to God in prayer, there was no fake shallow “I believe it will be alright” crap. It was “I need you, and I need you now!! Help me!!”
There are several of us on the cusp of life altering situations everyday…put it in the hands of the one who has written the story that you are a part of, and trust that in the end we live for one thing, that our lives would glorify Him. When you live like that, things start to make sense. I have looked back and seen how every piece, from blowing out my knee, almost failing out of college, being cut from the NFL , fired from college coaching, laid off from selling copy machines, lied to about being paid to pastor, laid off from sports agency, to barely being able to make rent, has been fundamental in shaping my faith…my world view…my heart. And the heart that I have, the one that is full of anger one minute and compassion the next, He will use to change the world…and if you let Him, He will use yours too.