You Don’t Want Jesus because You Love the Praise of Men

Who I am by nature vs, who I am by God. Are they two separate topics or are they the exact same thing? If what I value most is what is on my mind first thing in the morning…and it isn’t God, does he not live in the nature of all of my thinking? I have a unique blend of mind…but does chemistry/science outweigh Him? He made me. If I write down everything that comes to me first thing in the morning…stream of consciousness… I would think that God is speaking directly to me about my values and my priorities and the alignment of my heart/mind connection. (As opposed to looking down at me as being stubborn or disobedient in not surrendering my thoughts to him.) He gave me another day to open my eyes. I think about the video – I’m not in love with my creative capacity or output or role in other peoples lives or potential for receiving praise for any of it. I am in love with being given a chance to try to understand what my ingredients are worth…to my family, to you, to the world. The journey, the effort, the search…so many questions from Audrey… How could I not thank God for His time for this, His patience, His ear? He knows every last wavering uncertain human thing about me and relentlessly says, “you can do this”. I’m not in love with my own steam but I will fuel my “try” with love…